Taking the next big step in your relationship, which is popping the question to your partner, can be a milestone event. Even if you have been discussing marriage with them for a while, if you suddenly and unexpectedly drop the question — that, too, in a public space — it can overwhelm your partner.
Keep in mind that every proposal is unique and just because you have seen a grand gesture of love in a movie, it does not mean you have to replicate it in real life; unless, of course, your partner wants it. If you have been with them for a while, you may understand their choices, temperaments, etc. So, consider everything before you ask them to marry you.
A public proposal needs a checklist. In case you are wondering what it entails, Devina Kaur — an inspirational speaker, author, radio host, and the founder of ‘Sexy Brilliant’, a non-profit foundation — has the answers. The expert says there are five things that you must keep in mind so that things go as smoothly as planned. Read on.
1. Know your partner
According to Kaur, the idea of marrying your partner can be overwhelming and exciting, and the realisation can be heavy on the person, too. If you’re planning to propose in public, make sure you both are on the same page and that they are as ready to accept you as their life partner as you are, “because making an uninformed decision and pushing them out in public can make them embarrassed and uncomfortable”. “Mention in passing, the idea of getting engaged so that your partner is ready.”
2. Unleash your ‘passion’
While planning the proposal, it is important to know that not everything will work out exactly according to the plan. “But, you can’t let this ruin your confidence. What matters the most is your love and passion for each other. When you finally go down on one knee (or not), your goal must be to make them feel special and loved in the moment and the future,” the expert says.
3. Relish the moment
“Now, if they say ‘yes’, it is advisable to not jump into breaking the news to the world. Memorise the moment, so you can visit it again in the future. Spend time with your partner and learn about every detail of the evening. Marriage is a big change and you need to relish every tiny moment of happiness to make it a successful one,” says Kaur.
4. Seek help
According to Kaur, impatience is common when we decide to propose. “The eagerness can be healthy, but to plan a ‘perfect’ proposal, you can ask for help from your friends and family. They can provide an insight into the proposal that you weren’t thinking about before, and help you capture the moment on camera.”
5. Put their comfort first
Before and after popping the question, be mindful of your partner’s comfort, Kaur suggests. “Even after a romantic gesture, we can get overwhelmed in public and that ruins the moment. To avoid it, make sure that your partner is comfortable and feeling loved.”
“Your partner may hesitate to answer you right away. Give them some space. Make them feel safe and secure — that you understand and respect their decision. Show that you care about them more than anything in the world. This will make them feel special and help them to clear up the doubts in their mind,” the expert concludes.