What goes into a good apology?


Have you ever been really sorry about something? But no matter how much you apologise and express regret, those you have wronged just don’t feel like it’s enough? Jahan Kalanta, a criminal defence lawyer, who has seen a lot of apologies within the legal system shares helpful insight on how to say you are really sorry in a way that comes across as both reflective and authentic.

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So what goes into a good apology? Jahan talked about a framework you can always use. “Always start with ‘why’, move to the ‘because’ and finish with ‘and’.”

“Well, when you say sorry, mean it. Look people in the eye. Use the framework. Don’t be afraid to say sorry because you are too busy looking for the perfect words. And, when you say thank you, mean it. Look people in the eyes. Don’t be afraid to say kind words because life is very hard and people don’t hear kind words often enough,” he said.

He added, “And the next time you make a mistake or you need to thank someone for something, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and authentic. Because the power of any message is how honest the place it starts its journey, not how many times it gets censored by your lawyer.”

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